There are times in life when you have no idea what God is wanting you to do. The last few days has been one of those times.

On Friday, one of my bosses called me into his office and asked me what it would take to get me to stay another year at Teen Mania. My flesh wanted to reply, "There's not enough money in the world."...but I refrained. I basically said I'd need school paid for and money to get out of debt.

Then, after being tormented all weekend trying to decide what God wants me to do, I sent an e-mail Monday morning just saying what I'll be forgoing by not going to Florida, and if Teen Mania wants me to stay, I'd need a comparable offer, one that would be wiser for me to stay than to go.

They haven't gotten back to me yet, but odds are they will...Ideally, I'd like to have answer ready to give them if it's comparable...but I don't. I'm lost. I have no idea what God wants me to do...

Just now I had a really good conversations about storms with a good friend. He was looking out the window when I walked up to him, admiring the awesomeness our God and His display of that through storms. He had mentioned how when the disciples were being tossed around by the storm on the Sea of Galiee, Jesus laid asleep on the boat. He was more than calm, He was at peace to the point of rest. He knew His Father was in control and therefore, He rest assured of His safety.

As you can imagine, this is just what I needed to hear...now the hard part is applying it. Learning to trust in the midst of this storm, where I don't know which direction to head. In the midst of it, learning to say, "God you're in control, and I trust you. I find my rest in you. You are my fotress." when nothing else around you indicates any higher power.

As hard as this time has been...I'm learning, I'm being stretched, I'm growing, and all for His glory...I don't think there's any other place I'd rather be then right where He wants me.

"Lord, show me, teach me, draw me into a deeper trust and relationship with you. I love you. All that I have and all that I am is yours. May your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Amen."

Alright, so I'm realizing more and more just how much of a jerk I am when I don't spend time with God...even when I try to talk to people about Him...I just come off as too bold or abrasive...man it's frustrating too...because my heart is that I want to see this person come to a deeper revelation of who Christ is...to deepen their love of the Father...I don't want to condemn them, I don't want to make them feel bad...I just want to love them...but it doesn't come across as such...I make them feel condemned, I make them feel horrible...man. I don't want this! I want the love of Jesus Christ, the love that drove Him to that cross, the love that led His disciples to follow in His footsteps, the love that changed the world around them...I want THAT love to shine through. But if I don't have it in me...how can it come out of me? It just makes me realize more and more our dependence on Him to make that love, the kind talked about in 1 Cor. 13, shine through...

Jesus, man, I need you! I need you transcend my life. I need you to change my heart, my mind, the things that I say. I need you! I'm a sinful man, and apart from you the only thing I can do is sin...Thank you for your grace! Thank you for your righteousness. May I learn to walk in it, and not try to earn it. It's yours, and you've chosen to freely give it to me. I can do nothing...just submit my life to your will. Lord, have YOUR way in me. So that your light may shine through me. The world needs to know. They are waiting...may I obey your calling.

My thoughts and prayers are with your family. My heart wishes I could join you with our marvelous creator...but first I have a purpose here to complete. Thank you for the faithful life of love you lived. May you continue to inspire the rest of us.

May you rest in peace, a peace that only our Creator can offer.

David Hernandez

October 13, 1987-June 12, 2007

So I have a TON of options to choose from next year and the last month or so I've been really burdend at what path God would have me go down...and, well, yesterday that all changed.

So I had the option to go home, where I'd go to school at Boston Architectural College (BAC for short). Anyways, it's a really cool school where I'd be able to go right into the field and work full time in Architecture firm under a lisenced architect while going to school at night. I'd be making anywhere from 18K to 30K a year (in Massachusetts, which doesn't go far after taxes) and be able to graduate with a bachelors in 6 1/2 years and be able to take my licensing exams right after graduating. Normally, the road to taking your licensing exams is 8+ years, so I'd be saving a year and a half plus by going to this school (the reason being is b/c it's a professional school, as apposed to a academic school). So it sounded to good to be true and this is "what I supposed to do" next year...but there were also a few more options.

I could stay here @ Teen Mania (TM) one more year, fully scholarshiped and going to TJC down here, and after a year transfer to the BAC. Taking aprox. a year off the 6 1/2, while still remaining here advancing the kingdom.

I could also go down the Fellowship of the Burning Heart road...basically it's an opportunity of a lifetime to be personally mentored by the president and founder of Teen Mania, Ron Luce. The goal is to prepare you to speech and equip the young generation of America to change the world. I could really seeing myself doing this, the only downside being no college and it's a 2 year commitment...but this is not what I was supposed to do either...

God had bigger plans...

So my best friend and AP from my undergrad year, Matt Robertson, was planning on moving with me wherever I ended up next year, whether here or in Boston. (He went down the CA road again and again got put on the waiting list). He wasn't too high on the Boston idea...he doesn't like the cold weather or the cost of living up there. So he had suggested we go some place warm...like say Florida...it just so happened that one night while discusing all the options over the phone, my house leader and good friend, Trent McNabb, was in the room. He's from Florida. His dad's a developer in the Bradenton/Tampa area, fairly wealthy. He's like "you guys could live with me"...kind of off the cuff...and so yet another option was opening...I wasn't too keen on the idea of another one to choose from, I was having a hard time as is trying to make up my mind...and Florida was in the opposite direction from friends and family in Massachusetts. I told Matt "I'd pray about"...which in Teen Mania terms is a "No." He laughed...we both prayed about it...and God...well...He did stuff...

So as we prayed, I shared more of my vision of what I want to do with Architecture with Matt. That is to go overseas, once becoming financially stable here in the states, and go into ghettos of the undeveloped world and show them not only the love of Jesus Christ and His gospel, but also show them how to develop into a sending community, to the point where they are not financially dependent upon US funds, with the goal of them sending their own missions to reach the world around them. I had told Matt that I want to educate them...show them argriculture, economics, medicine, all these things...and ironically enough, as Matt prayed about it, he was burdened more and more to get involved...He was planning on going into eduacation anyways and has a huge heart for mission's work...He really just likes to love on people. Anyways...so God birthed the same vision, of this team building up poor neighborhoods of the world with the gospel and so much more...As He did this, he also opened my eyes and my heart to the possibility of living in Florida.The palm trees, sunshine and beaches became more and more appealing...and the prospect of living in a million dollar house wasn't so bad either...

So we determined the first step was talking to Trent...see how serious he was about that offer of living with him, just for a few months at least while Matt and I looked for an apartment...

The next day...that is yesterday...is a day that I'll remember for the rest of my life. Simply put...God did stuff.

So that day while @ work Matt called me...I decided to take a break to take the call...I went outside and he began to share with me how a lady came into the store (Matt works in a Christian book store in North Carolina right now) and she was looking for some Jewish items...Matt asked if she was Jewish, she said she's drafted in...she was messianic Jew...basically a Jew, who practices all the traditions but believes Jesus is Christ...Matt has some Jewish in him...anyways they got to talking and she ended up prophesing over him about his future...how he'll be establishing and developing communities, with teams...confirming all the stuff we were talking about. It was amazing...at some point before he called me...God also told him to call one his friends...when the phone rang...someone else picked up...Dustin wasn't around...Matt felt the spirit of God tugging on his heart to share with this person the plans he and I were developing and to invite him to Florida with us...he did. He also relayed this along in our 5 min. conversation.

Anyways, that night (keep forgeting this happend just last night...it seems so distantly divine already) I talked to Trent and let him know that God's really been birthing Florida on our hearts and to find out if there was room for this 3rd person at his house...their wasn't. Which meant we'd have to find an apartment prior to moving down. I relayed this along to Trent...he's like "Oh, really, I'll live with you guys!"...so where up to 4 people, great reducing the monthly rent every moment!...I told Trent I wanted to meet with him more (we both had to go) to discuss more of the vision behind where we ultimately wanted to end up.

Then worship for Monday night service started...after worship was over, Trent came and sat down next to me and whispered..."Hey, my dad just called. I told him I had some friends who were interested in moving down to Florida getting an apartment and going to school in the area. He's like 'Really...I've got some houses that aren't selling right now that you guys could live in the timebeing.'"...so we had a place to live...at little to no cost...hmm...Florida's looking more and more like a better option. Massachusetts, HOME, is quickly fading away. I mean a house, for free!...

So after Monday night service I shared with Trent our big plan...and he's like..."Dude, this is totally what I want to do with my life! I was prophised over this a few months ago. The lady actually recorded it, you HAVE to hear it!"...OK this is scarry. God, "Could you be confirming something here?"...so we get in his car to head home and he puts in the tape. The lady specifically mentioned "You'll be building up communitees, with a team, a team that might recreat itself and there may be many."...we were both sitting there in awe. It was crazy. God was definetly doing something...and it was/is BIGGER than us.

From there, I was telling Trent how I didn't know how this person Matt invited fit into the picture...we both pondered, but knew it was from God. We decided we'd go find out what he was up to, with the goal of finding out what he wanted to do with his life...see if, per chance, it lined up. He's not so sure...so we're still kinda in limbo to find out where he fits into the picture...but we're sure God will work it out in the end.

Anyways, so we have our Educator, Builder, and Businessman, we're looking for a Doctor and Farmer (and I think we'll need a Techy too, but I have to talk to the other guys.) who has the same vision. If any of you know where we could find one, please let us know. Thanks all!

God is Great!

-Dan

Well today was another eventful day. I finished the test on Battle Cry for a Generation that I was requiered to take for my ministry placement. I also pent alot of time preparing for the presentation that I will be giving tomarrow, as well. On top of all this I also in touch with a band called "The Lads" who my dad and I have been in touch with. They are originally from New Zealand and have several number one Christian hits there. They have recently moved to the States due to nothing other than a definate calling by God to come. They didn't have any "gigs" set up or any contracts signed or anything. They felt called to moved, so they packed up and came. It's really amazing. If you want to learn more feel free to check out their web site @ www.theladsband.com. They are really interested in getting involved in ATF and Teen Mania in general. Steve King, their drummer/manager,  is an incredible man of God. He'll be sending me some of their music and stuff. If you guys want to hear it I'm going to try and post it on my xanga. (Does anyone know how to do this?) If I don't figure out how, just stop by my desk in a few weeks and I might be handing out samples or soemthing, we'll see. I'm really excited about the potential to see these guys on stage at ATF at some point in the future. Not only are they incredible men of God, but they are also incredible artists.